Happy Feet!!!

Happy Feet was incredibly cute!
I am going to BUY that movie! And the soundtrack. Yesssss.

Oh shoot. Ummm...Oh yeah! I'm going ice skating tonight!!!! I'm puh-syched!

I wish I had something meaningful to say. Alas!

"Ladies, please avert your eyes... 'cause I've been known to hypnotize."
"Man, this guy is so accidentally COOL!"
"What are you gonna do? Subject him to cruel and unusual punishment?
Unimaginable torture?
Imaginable torture? "
"Just a moment. I hear people wanting something... ME!"

"It...it just ain't penguin, okay..."

Let's Talk...

~Not swallowed in the sea, you belong with me; not swallowed in the sea, you belong with me.
~On a platform I'm gonna stand and say that I'm nothing on my own; And I love you, please come home.
~You don't have to be alone; you don't have to be on your own
~Take my hand inside your hands, I need someone who understands; I need someone, someone who hears.
For you I've waited all these years. For you I'd wait, 'til kingdom come, until my day, my day is done, so say you'll come and set me free, just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
~Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones; I will try to fix you...

I have all these Coldplay songs running- actually, more like flowing- through my mind, like an ocean of rhthyms and melodies.
And I'd write a true update, but I honestly don't know what to say. How...sad...
Tomorrow's Saturday!!! AHHHHHHHHH!

Donde esta la nieva???!!!

Thanks Wal-mart...

Its 9:03pm. I'm mentally and emotionally drained.
Thanks Wal-mart.
I attempted to find some pants, and...well...

*runs away and hides in corner*

sldfkeujiagnwoeijfewokjfdoiwejfiwefofsd.
vnoewivuweknafioeugiwetubvjdkcnaspkcjpieujiofwej.

There. That's gibberish for everything I wish I could say right now but I can't.
And the phone is off limits!!!! AHHH!

Oh goodness gracious. Good night.

Midwinter Melancholy-ness-ism

Today is just one of those days.
Meaning my mood is...not high. And. My parents got mad at me for being moody.

So basically I've been wallowing all day, reading and watching movies, anything to NOT THINK.
I'm brilliantly okay, it's just one of those *bam!* "You just got hit with a bunch of little things that have always bothered you! Oh, and you're grounded, too."
Yeah. So I'll get over it. You know...I'm fine. And I'd love to complain. But I can't really, because my family doesn't want to hear it/ doesn't care, and I can't call anyone, because I'm grounded. That's peachy.

I just have to remember to SUCK IT UP. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Now would be a perfect time to go for a walk. But it's dark. Darn it.

Disregard everything I just said;

I'm perfectly splendid.

Glad Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I love Christmas because of the joy, anticipation, giving, and (wait for it....)

LOVE.

Merry Christmas everyone.
My love to all of you.

*Goes to sleep singing Christmas carols*

PS Who's up for ice skating this week??

It SNOWED!!! Yes, it was only a little bit, but still!
I slept in, then saw the snow, then read the Bible a bit (which was nice).

And X&Y by Coldplay is an amaz-z-zing CD.

And I want desperately to go on a walk in the snow.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Mi abuela is here to visit. My aunt is coming soon.
This is completely pointless. I'll update more when I have something meaningful to say.

Uh oh. Poetry...

The song Vienna by the Fray is amazing, by the way. I'm listening to it right now. Awww it makes me pine.
Okay, I feel like posting some lame poetry of mine from as early as September. Please read through all these and don't just skim. Because that's even lamer than my actually writing these. (Ha! Oh! That was goooood.)
Sept (A haiku!)
I'm myself with you
forget the inhibitions
forget the constant pressure
You are my freedom

Beginning of December
Wintertime, pink skies
your eyes gaze into mine.
Hot chocolate and cider
warm hands and hearts
smiles grow wider.
Losing ourselves in the cold beauty
time passing slowly
as the snow falls gently.
Stepping lightly through
the white blanket covering the ground
footsteps crunching
gloved hands together...
(I fell asleep right after I wrote that and didn't finish. Haha)

And here's a weird one from the middle of December
We walked into the universe/ of painted stars on my ceiling/ you asked me how/ I grinned and shrugged my shoulders.
It was a journey through our minds/ a voyage into our hearts/ a climb, way down/ down to the depths of our souls.
Stars shimmering around us/ sparkling in our eyes/ swept into waves and currents/ of thoughts, emotions, feelings.
I say we should explore/ you smile and agree/ we take each other's hands/ and off we go/ on a search for truth and meaning/ and the hidden beauty of our lives.
There are no secrets here/ they flow freely around us-/ we can hear them on the breeze.
And everything we'd never said/ everything we'd kept inside/ echoes loudly in the night.
The universe is at our fingertips/ and all we have to do is reach/ We look at each other/ thoughts passing through our eyes/ when simultaneously, we nod/ clasp each other's hands/ and prepare to take the leap, together.
It's five seconds until my alarm goes off.
Will we remember this dream?

Sept (this one's super lame *covers face in hands* ahh!)
Bricks are falling/ ice is melting/ a hesitant opening of a door/signals a change- a step forward.
Day by day/ just thinking of you/ just thinking of you makes me smile.
I'm a delicate rose/ trying to hide among thorns/ a closed bud/ but suddenly I'm beginning to bloom.
You open me up/ you make me vulnerable/ it's frightening, how I feel.
I've done all I can/ to numb myself/ to need no one/ to be a loving friend/ yet let no one in.
It'd be less painful/ I wouldn't be vulnerable/ I wouldn't have to worry about feelings/ I wouldn't be open or harmed.
But what, what have I done?
As Ani Difranco would say, "I've put too much on the table and now I have too much at stake."

And here's to mitigate the pain your eyes have endured reading these..what? poems?
A quote from that one thing we read in literature that I can't remember
"Ah love! Could you and I with him conspire
to grasp this sorry scheme of things entire
would not we shatter it to bits- and then
remold it nearer to the Heart's Desire."

In conclusion, my dear fellows...

Life is weird.

This is a lame post *grins and shrugs*

I've had a pretty darn good weekend, and to make it even more wonderful, the bio project is done, and I don't have basketball tomorrow!!!! So I don't even have to worry about whether or not to skip!!!

HOO-rah!

And its 11:22pm, I'm finally watching Wimbledon (good romantic comedy-ish movie, though lots of sex-ish stuff *grrr!*) which I've been waiting to watch SINCE MY BIRTHDAY! Geez. And it has a really good happy ending. And its Paul Bettany!

And and and...Um. Shoot. I'm really distracted because Paul Bettany is two points away from winning Wimbledon. This makes me miss playing tennis.

Hey I've always wondered this (uh oh this could be a rant)- all these romantic flicks that us girls watch all the time? Are they leading us the believe in endings that aren't real? I know that after flicks like Wimbledon or You Got Mail or, well you know, chick flicks- I'm all "aww^3" and then I think "Waaaaaiiiiitttt...does this stuff really happen or is it all hollywood make-believe?" Then if I say something like "Pfft, that's so fake" then I'm a cynic?
I don't know. It's confusing. Because teenage girls are lead to believe that if they don't have this perfect happy-go-lucky love, then they're incomplete. And then this perfect happy-go-lucky love doesn't happen, and they get depressed.
When I was younger (I can't be-LIEVE I just said that) I was always depressed after chick flicks because I always wanted that perfect relationship that always worked out.
Then I realized you just have to...well, as Laura would say, "SUCK IT UP!" and be complete by yourself.
Thankfully, I have amazing friends and I am complete.
And I'm totally not going ANYWHERE with this subject, sooooooo I guess I'll just go.
Dang.
I hate when that happens.

Later dudes.

Warning: Deep and profound story time!

It felt awkward. She stood there in the classroom, packing her bags, glancing up occasionally to see if he was coming. The day hadn’t been good; she was tired, her hands were cold; she had a lot of work to do…what she needed was a hug. From him. She looked up again, and there he was. She smiled at him, eyes sparkling tiredly, just for a second, fading away when she searched his face. He stood a few feet away, his smile cramped and forced. Questions hit her brain in a wave, but she only asked hopefully, “…So…whose turn is it to call tonight?”
He shrugged. “Whatever works out.”
She stood silently for a moment, looking down to hide her disappointment. He obviously didn’t want to talk to her, and she was tired of always being the one calling him. She resolved right then and there that that night, she would not pick up the phone and dial his number. She would not be the one to call. Not this time. Or maybe not anymore at all. He said a hurried goodbye and headed to the bus line. She stayed there in the classroom for a few more minutes, waiting until she was sure the bus kids were gone, waiting until it was safe for her to leave. She sighed, feeling a heavy weight somewhere in her soul. How do boys make girls hurt so much, she didn’t know or understand. Caring for someone isn’t that hard, is it? Why am I the only one who cares?
That night, she gave in, abandoning her confident plan. She dialed his number, feeling a strange, sickly feeling in her stomach. Something felt wrong. The phone rang, and he picked it up. She knew immediately by his voice he didn’t want to talk. What’s wrong with me? Am I too pathetic, too boring, not pretty enough? She tried to start a conversation anyway, but cautiously.
“So…what are you doing? Are you busy?”
He sounded bored. “I’m watching TV.”
“Oh…so do you want to talk? Or…not…?”
“I don’t really care.” His voice was hollow and unfeeling, and it felt like a slap in the face. She grimaced, biting her lip, and answered slowly, wishing she knew what to say.
“Well…okay then. See you tomorrow.” He said goodbye, and the click was deafening. She crumbled. So much for my feelings. So much for a mutual relationship. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t want to talk to me at all. Why didn’t I get angry? Why didn’t I let him know that what he said was rude and that it hurt my feelings? Why did I just let him go without standing up for myself? Watching TV?!
He doesn’t care. You’re worthless.

It’s been a few years, yes. Her old friends ask why she never calls them. She smiles lightly and says she doesn’t call anyone. Because she doesn’t. And when she does, if it’s not for homework, she’s scared to death every time that her history will repeat itself, and she’ll be told once again that her feelings aren’t mutual, that they don’t care, that she’s worthless.

Wow! That was deep and profound! A real tearjerker. I had fun writing that. I should do that more often.
Today I was super tired, so I skipped practice, and since my purpose was to go to bed early, I probably should do that. So off I go, at 9:11pm. Nighty night, pumpkins.

Exhausted Rambling! Ahhh!

Its 10:44pm and I'm exhausted!!! Ahhhhhhh!
And I hardly did any homework tonight.

Tomorrow will be a good day, when I'm at school at least (as strange as that sounds).
The game up at Soap Lake hopefully will be fun, and I should, as the coaches say, "expect to win." Heh. Right. I meannnnnn....ABSOLUTELY!
I'm missing Christmas caroling. Dern.

Anyway, I just made myself and my brother a huge lunch (proud of me?) and now I'm going to bed.
Though I will be half-dead tired, I expect great things to come out of tomorrow. And I hope you guys miss me when I'm gone...for the last...what? 2 periods, one of which you don't even have with me?...oh well. I'll miss you guys. As Ryan would say, "My soul weeps." Haha.

Okay now I'm rambling and subconsciously making excuses for staying up later (why??!!).
Yes. I expect great things for tomorrow. After all, I'll be wearing my knee high socks...

Basketball and SAPPINESS!

I made a few baskets and three out of four three frows! (dang it! free throws!)

Anyway, it was a tough game (we lost). And my Saturday slipped from my fingers like sand. All my homework will have to be done tomorrow, and it saddens me, but heck, I can do it.

Lost any words I might have had...oh wait, I'll sporadically spout lyrics from Billy Joel. (Don't worry, they're super sappy)In every heart there is a room/A sanctuary safe and strong/To heal the wounds from lovers past/Until a new one comes along/I spoke to you in cautious tones/You answered me with no pretense/And still I feel I said too much/My silence is my self defense/And every time I've held a rose/It seems I only felt the thorns/And so it goes, and so it goes/And so will you soon I suppose/But if my silence made you leave/Then that would be my worst mistake/So I will share this room with you/And you can have this heart to break/And this is why my eyes are closed/It's just as well for all I've seen/And so it goes, and so it goes/And you're the only one who knows/So I would choose to be with you/That's if the choice were mine to make/But you can make decisions too/And you can have this heart to break/And so it goes, and so it goes/And you're the only one who knows...

I swear, lately I've been on this constant sappy romantic feeling overdose. It's driving me CRAZY!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bed.time.

heyyyyy sappiness - s +h = happiness!

There is no subject to this post

Close eyes on car ride home. Walk through door. Eat quesadilla. Open fridge again. Mom closes fridge. Walk away. Go upstairs. Realize need to get iPod. Worry about tomorrow's game. Experience unsystematic good mood plummeting. Decide to get online...really fast. Lie (lay?) in bed and listen to a few songs. Go to sleep.

The games were fun. I like my guy friends.
My poor parents fortunately saved me from being kidnapped by them.

Okay. I've had enough of being down here. My 'rents are slightly ragging on me about missing a large part of the boys' varsity because I was sitting outside waiting for you guys to come back from Subway's.
Whatev' dawg, whatev'. S'all good in da hood.

No no no....okay okay okay... (haha).

Wish me luck for tomorrow.
They're playing X-Files! Too bad for me. I'm still going to bed.

Ahhh man...all the exhaustion and moodiness...stuff..from these last few weeks just collapsed on my head!
Ouuuuch.

Thanks guys, for hanging out with me today. It was a good time.

Happy and Hyper (woah!)

Okay okay, guys, I'm feeling pretty happy right now. (NO.WAY.)

Firstly, my day was pretty good. Fun lab where I was able to talk like a dork (thank you, candy) and act like one (wait, not act, just be). (Thanks, Ryan, for putting up with me). Basketball wasn't horrible, though we did have to run at the end (in front of the guys!!! Gah!)
And I'm listening to the Happy Techno song, which is a mood-booster. I finished my necessary homework (I could always work on that Twelfth Night Essay, but come on...honestly. No.) and it was only 7:30pm when I finished. HOO-rah. Oh no, the techno song is over. Ahh! *mood plummets* Juuuuust joshin.

So I'll go make my brother and I a lunch, doodle or something, and then GO TO BED, as this is my last online adventure of the day (and it was a boring one, since no one updated!!!) and there's really nothing else to do.

My Christmas tree is beautiful. Absotively posilutely GORGEOUS. I think I'll sit and doodle and soak in its splendor.

Oh hey! Out of either 8 or 9 freethrows (can't remember) I only missed...*drumroll* ONE!!!
Yessssssss! Heck.yes.

Okay blah blah blah. Whatever. This post has no meaning. I hate when that happens.
Wait, let me go see if I can find a poem to stick in here...
Oh I have two poems written several months apart, but they're about the same thing and they sound the same. Dang. Oh well. I'll put both. *shrugs* Think what you will. (To reserve space, I'll do / instead of short lines)

You thought she was a beautiful girl/ happy, confident, carefree/ But now what do you think?
Now that she's cried off all her makeup/ and is sprawled across the floor/what do you think?
What do you see?/ I see pain, insecurity, fear/and most of all, vulnerability
There she lies/ a shattered hope/ a broken dream/ an idol of our culture
No one ever knew/ no one ever knew/ who she really was
She was just a model/ just a face, just a body to be used/ Did anyone look deeper?

She's not what they see- a confident blissful young lady/ They don't see that her smile is broken/
her tears have dried underneath her coverup/ They don't see her insecurities, like a wave/ creeping in, gaining strength
Until they crash down overhead/ breaking her, taking her/ Yet no one sees.
She doesn't believe what they say/ and for that, misery is the price she pays.
The girls in the magazines, on TV, at the mall/ they stare her down with scorn
She's not everything, and she knows it/ and they add to her self-inflicted grief.
What have we done to ourselves?/ Our beauty is fake/ our depression is rampant/ we've turned ourselves into objects/
made ourselves worthless/ Don't be like them, don't be like them.

Those are....sadder than I remember. Oh, and a random one (okay three) liner I just found in my little book:
How can one build unbreakable walls to the heart?
My fortress walls are crumbling, brick by brick.
I'm slowly, steadily being exposed...

*chuckles* Have fun with those. Haha.
*runs away embarrassed*

Re-confirmed Realization

I have come to the realization that:

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.

Anything can be okay if you have positive thinking (even basketball).

And I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW. Homework and the 'rents need the room for their meeting.

Dern.

"The day flies by: away!"

Attempt to Balance Monotony and Depth

Will the eagle fly/ if the sky's untrue?
Do the faithful sigh/ because they are so few?
Remember when I cried/ Remember when you knew?
Remember the look in your eyes, I know I do...

Jars of Clay is realllllly good meditation/going to sleep music. Yesssss.

Laura is coming over in half an hour and we're going to watch LOST.
Confession and going to girls' varsity basketball game.
Homework.

It doesn't feel like a Friday to me. Which is nice, I guess, because it is.
Basketball wasn't bad today.
I can't seem to write in complete thoughts- they're just coming in unsystematic pieces.
I felt anti-social again during Art. I hate that feeling, I really do. Sometimes, I don't know...I just get tired of some people...? I hear what they're talking about, see what they're doing, and I don't want to be involved. So I just wander aimlessly around trying not to look lonely.
I got to sing in choir today, which was nice, of course. I'm always afraid people are going to tell me to go away since I'm not part of performing arts, but I just want to sing in church.
I wore my nerdy socks today, which made me feel extra-nerdy, so I was pretty happy all day (until art).

*purses lips* I'm trying to think of something to say that's not about my day or something, because in actuality, I bet reading this stuff is pretty boring. *Ponders/Contemplates/Muses*

I thought of a question today, though I don't remember when. You know that whole "world peace" dream? Is it possible? Won't there always be someone who's going to fight and ruin it, even if the majority is kind and compassionate? And how would wars be solved otherwise? Yes, I'm sure there could be councils and discussions, but IMAGINE how difficult that would be.
Ahhh, world peace would be so nice.
Father Corapi was saying on the radio that September 11 was nothing in comparison to what's going to happen while our society continues to decay. Collective sin, I read, is the cause of many of these horrible things happening to the world (meaning what? tsunamis, hurricanes, blowing up of large important buildings?)

My train of thought just got horribly interrupted for like 7 minutes and a piece of apple pie. Darn.
Oh well. Do you guys get what I'm saying? Yeah. Of course you do. You're all geniuses, right? *winks*

Oh, and I LOVE lunchtime, especially on days when I decide not to do my math homework and there's hilarious and fun chaos going on all around us. (James and I are constantly LAUGHING at your hilarity, Ryan!!! I love it!!) I think I've laughed more this year so far than I had for more than half of last year. Goodness. It's great.

Well I better go. Hopefully I semi-balanced depth with monotony. *shrug*
Later vatos. <-- Haha!!!