An Honest (?) & Illegal Update

Note: whether or not these quotes were actually said is for me to know and...you..NOT to find out. Haha!

"Watch sad movies- it helps."
"Oh believe me, I have plenty of sad music to listen to..."
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"I think I'm finally out of being in shock."
"Oh."
"As in it finally hit me. And now it hurts worse than it did."
"Oh."
"I'm not talking to you anymore..."
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"Why is your music turned up so loud?"
"...Um...I'm tired of hearing my heart breaking..."
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BUT....You wouldn't know if I didn't tell you.
PS Itsalgood.

Rainy day poem

So today I went on a walk in the pouring rain, and wrote a poem about it that I thought I'd share wit' ya'll.
And this is actually how most of my poems are- they're more like journal entries in poetic form- just to warn you. And it's kind of long. Anyway, the rain was very wet, but beautiful...in a sad, morbid, soggy shredded wheat sort of way (that was for you, James).
Feb 24 2:08pm @ a table outside Safeway after an hour walk in the pouring rain

I set out into the cold, grey world/ with the sky crying, as it has been/
encouraging me to join in./ Soothing melodies in the background.
I head to the river, my favorite place to walk/ and see the empty path ahead./
My breath leaves a cloud/ -your whispered name, hanging in the air-/
I am alone on this road./
I begin to walk/ taking care to step in every puddle/ not minding that my shoes
and pant legs are soaked./ Every song that plays is perfect for the weather/ for where I am/ for how I feel./
I take my time/ thinking or zoning/ depending on the music./ At one moment, I look out to the water/ and three birds are swimming/ leaving three perfect triangles in the water./
And seeing the waves move outwards/ makes it seem, just for a second/
that the world is falling away from my feet./
I stagger, blink, then everything's back to normal./
I continue trudging onward/ the wind whipping at my face, numbing it./
I leave the path/ back to the city/ past the restaurant/
when I see a covered area with a table and chair./ That's the place./
And here we are/ at the present moment./ I'm listening to the rain hit the umbrella/
watching the people pass/ trying to understand what's happening now, in my life./
My fingers are cold/ writing slowly/
Deleted sappy sad poetry here. Don't ask. Heh.
I look at the clock/ and I'm late./ I have homework to do./
I sigh./ The hood goes back on/ music turned back up/ cold hands, back into my pockets/ my shivering self, back on the road, alone./

The end.
I have to go do my homework. Darn. And my job. Darn.
Today was one of those "what did I DO all day?" days. And I still can't decide what to do about softball. I wish I could motivate myself to walk everyday, or run...or SOMEthing.
pfft. Whatever.
Note to self: No matter what happens, God is good. :)

Who rocks their own socks? ME!!!! And Jesus Christ, of course...

I passed the test of getting through the day...with flying colors.

I figured it out: as long as I don't think, I'm perfectly peachy. Hooray for helpful conclusions!

(Sorry that you guys are in the dark about what I am speaking of...I'd rather be vague because it's EASY.)

PS "Stuck in the Sunset" by Sacha Sacket is a beautiful song. Absotively posilutely gorgeous. I'm going to go do my job and listen to it now.

PPS I have some good stories to tell about my adventures with Monica and her father tonight. Woo-hoo!

Ashes.

Le sigh

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh

(now "sigh" looks like it's spelled wrong)
Don't you hate it when all these pre-thoughts are swarming around your head and you can't say them? And then you try but they don't seem to make sense? And then you feel like...well...insert derogatory word here.

Don't worry- I'm absolutely peachy right now. Just...confused and wordless. Heh.
S'all good.
I'm going to bed early; I will sleep in; I will get ashes on my forehead; I will have an amazing Lent; I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix (ohhhhh. Just call me Fawkes- juuuust kidding). Yes. Definitely. Indeed.
.................................................................................................................
Life is su-PERB.
I'm not joking, darn it! I'M COMPLETELY SERIOUS!

Brain_dead.

My brain is fried!! DARN YOU HOMEWORK!!!! (history *cough*)

Where has my day gone?

The sunshine is beautiful, though. Now I just have to get this stuff done so I can go enjoy it.

Estoy a mi casa!

I just wanted to say a few things, gents.

It is approximately 3:55pm, and I am at home. Meaning, I'm not in the gym playing basketball with an hour and a half more of practice! YEAHHHHHH
Okay. And I just got really bad hiccups just now. Oww they hurt. *holding breath*
*passes out*

Juuuust joshin'.

Another thing. I sucked it up today and went in front of my class and SANG! Hoo-flipping-rah! Whether or not I sounded good is relative, but at least I did it. I overcame that fear and voila! I'm a whole new person! (okay not really but are you feelin' it? The triumph over fear? Victory(a) is sweet.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And I hope that all the cynics in the world don't curse tomorrow because...that'd be sad...I don't know where I'm going with this one. Anyway, yeah. Valentine's Day. And boys, I am NOT talking to you. And if you do steal my heart, I will continue to NOT talk to you. So there. Haha.

Better use my time wisely and get some homework done. Maybe I'll get to go on a walk...

Varsity game!

My mouse is currently moving upward by itself. And I'm having fun watching it. There it goes..to the Refresh button...now to Tools...

Okay, okay I'm done with that.

So Varsity was fun. Sitting on the bench until the last three or four minutes, and I got to end the game, which was cool. Got one free throw. One point, first Varsity game ever. Yay! We won by five, though our coaches were ticked because varsity had beat the same team last time 50-14. Oops. Anyway, I got fouled horribly near the very end, but the refs weren't calling anything on the other team since they only had 5 girls (meaning they beat us up the whole time and got away with it). It was great- I go up for the shot, and I have two girls hanging on me, and the Prep fans just FLIP out and there's parents yelling for a foul. According to Randy one of the parents yelled, "She just got b**** slapped!" and Randy said "Man, she just got raped!"
Haha.
Yeah. So it was fun. And my legs hurt, so I need to drink water all day if I'm to survive the LC game with one sub. Yikes.

And I'm really distracted because Antonio just put in "Employee of the Month". Dang. I need to do my Insights homework.
Later. Sorry for the meaningless post. Heh.