Bball quiz, lyrics, Rage Against the Machine, fuming

Basketball was canceled, so we took our plays quiz. I think I might've passed, but barely.
Emphasis on barely.

All that I am, all that I ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see...

Sorry I had to. I was singing along with "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. And now "Chocolate" by them is playing. Yes!
Anyyyyway...I wrote a poem not about insecurity or mushy stuff!!!! Rage against the machine!

Will our thirst ever be quenched?
Will we ever be satisfied?
Closets jam-packed
of all the newest clothes
Headphones blaring
Not caring what's going on.
Mountains of materials
that we just keep on climbing
I'm not lying, this greed
is a god we all serve.
Will it ever be enough?
Surrounded by malls
where money flows out
of our hands and into their pockets.
People know all about Black Friday-
do they have a clue about Good Friday?
When will we realize
that happiness isn't hidden
in our wallets or our closets?
When will we realize
that these material things
won't sustain us or sooth our search for meaning?

When?

And another cheesy Snow Patrol line because I'm too tired to actually write something from my brain!
I don't quite know
how to say
how I feel
Those three words- I said too much
they're not enough...

What a gushy song. I mean, geez.

I LURVE IT!

I'm extremely tired, and I should go over all the flippin notes that I wrote for history, but seeing as I'm dying now...maybe sleep is a good option.
Then I remembered that my library book is a few weeks overdue. Crud! And I already have a fine from a while ago. Gahh. I can't even check out books because I have no time to read them or return them. Derrnnnnit.

Oh I fumed for a while after school about the immaturity and lame-ness of some guys.
All I could do while remaining nice was to give them a look that pretty much said "I TOTALLY do NOT like how you're talking about girls and could you please STOP RIGHT NOW?"
Not only is it disrespectful to girls, but it made me uncomfortable. I was shocked listening to these guys.
I mean, COME ON!
*regains composure*
It's all good. S'all good.
GIRLS AREN'T SEX OBJECTS FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!

As you can see, this subject struck a chord that's still reverberating.
And it made me realize how happy I am that I'm close with guys that aren't that way.
Boys, thank you for being you. It's a relief that there's still hope in the world. :)

UNSYSTEMATICNESS-ISTICAL-ISM...?

Words to describe today:

Mood swings, ending happily (thank goodness)
Pain! Everything of me aches (especially my heart! nah, just joshin')
Homework and unfinished homework
Tired
Tired
Tired
Did I mention I was tired?
Almost microscopic snowflakes!

Alright. Sc...I mean...forget about history reading. My sleep is important.
Shoot! Basketball plays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Arbitrary Thoughts

So....

I ran a lot today in basketball (more than 25 laps in 8 minutes...HOO-RAH!).
My legs hurt. There are too many plays to memorize.

I ate a few truffles and I won't be eating any more chocolate for several months. *twitches*
Choc!late! ov!er!dose! Blegghhhh.

Today I was tired, because though I was in bed yesterday approximately 10 minutes from now, I could NOT fall asleep for the life of me, and I tossed and turned and kept waking up all night. It caused me great sadness and misfortune.
But I dreamed I saw my friend Anjali. And that's all I can remember. Dang.
I love dreaming, but I hate it when I can't remember, and even more when I remember but they're stupid. Grr.

As nerdy as this sounds, I enjoyed reading the rest of Act 2 of Twelfth Night. Eye likey Shakespeare.
And the gym that we were at for practice had an EMERSON QUOTE on the wall! The one that I have as a magnet! Yes!

Okay I have to go. Antonio needs help with vocab (meaning I have to write half of them).
I didn't read any of our 50 pages of history; then again, I started homework at 7:30pm (not by choice, guys, geez, I got home at 7 and had to eat dinner!).
Time time time is running out.

Picking a random Psalm for religion homework made me realize how much I miss reading the Bible.

My sister just said she was fat.
Thus, my low self esteem just PLUMMETED.
Rock.bottom. Blast this feminine insecurity!

You guys are so lucky. Soooo lucky.

blahblahblahblah. Nothingimportantblahblah.

Peace out dawgs

Hey a different font.
Hey a different font.
hey a different font. Oh. I hate this one.
Another one!
Another one that looks the same!
Times!
Trebuchet!
Verdana!
Webdings!

Okay I'm done with that. Heh.
So today I pretty much did...NOTHING. Seriously. I did no homework at all (Laura hasn't written back to tell me if all our Magic 20s are due Tuesday...Ahh!)
Yesterday I cleaned my room from TOP to BOTTOM. I dusted, vacuumed, cleaned my sheets, made my bed, put stuff away...it was great.
So because of all this finding and putting away-ness, I found letters written to me from like 4 different people, including a girl I had become friends with for a short time during eighth grade. They were letters about how much she liked this guy and how her parents were not letting her do any writing: really sad stuff. So I'm thinking about writing her a letter and sending them to her for her to see. It was two years ago, it'd be interesting for her to see how she's changed and such.
And the other letters too caused major nostalgia and blast from the past-ness. It was crazy! So I put all the letters together and tied them with a piece of yarn and put them in my keepsake box.
And my "Vote for Larry" book is finally in my posession! Yes!
Shoot. I don't have anything to say. This is not cool.

Oh, here's something. I can't wait for Christmas break!!!

Oh wait, then I read my poetry book from Christmas of sixth grade to Christmas of seventh grade and it was...
HORRIBLE! I was very moody, depressed, and pathetic. But yeah, it was good to see that I no longer am an infatuated loser and that I have good friends so I'm not very lonely. Unfortunately, I had only a few insecure poems then, while many of mine now are about that very thing. So in that case, I've gotten worse. But everything else, I've gotten better. Yay? Yes.

Okay. "Peace out dawgs."

Idle chatter

Hey Hey I really don't have that much to post...which works, since I don't really have that much to say.

Interesting conversation between my sister and I:
"A get off the phone!"
"Victoria, no one is going to call you, okay?? So just chill. I haven't been on the phone in forever, especially with Mairead!"

May I add that her last sentence was completely untrue and that I wish I could truthfully counter her first comment. Grrr.

I'm listening to an amazing song and I don't know what it's called or who its by. But I'm enjoying it, though my iPod headphones are kiling my ears. Owwwww. My legs hurt too. That pillow fight must've caused me to pull muscles. Ack.

Okay. Um. Nothing but idle chatter to post, so I'll spare you guys.

THE LORD IS KIND AND MERCIFUL

I have posted 30 posts. This is #31. Wow.
Anyway, my fingers are cold...so I'm typing really slow. And its 7:43 in the morning and I just wanted to say....

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!
My practice was canceled because there is a retreat going on in the gym. Thank the Lord! Yayayayayaya! So I made my dad take me to spudnuts and I got a doughnut and now I'm still tired so I'm going to see if I can go to bed. And then I'll do my homework, then go shopping for Adriana's birthday and get a ticket for James Bond, then come back home, hang out, then go to Will's thing. Yay!!!
AHHHH! Will?!! What do you want for your birthday???

'Night.

PS Yesterday evening in incomplete sentences:
Went to adoption day. Saw lots of cute kids. Hung with my pals Monica, James, Paul. Went to game. We lost our football game. I went to the Campbells. Ate good food, hung with Paul and Randy. Felt anti-social. Went home. Had a mini movie night. Felt better. Realized I had practice. Went to bed.

Uh oh. Antonio put in a movie. Maybe I won't go to bed...

Restless poem and Hutch High

Hutch High was amazing. It was so fun, and so cool. Cancer research, the Dead Sea Scrolls, IMAX theater, friends (!!!!), snow and snowball fights on the past...etc. It was so much fun. I want to go back to Seattle with my pals and spend some time sightseeing and hanging out.

Anyway. Today was all homework and stress, and by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. So I left the house right before it got dark and jogged around the track. (Jogging meaning running the slowest way possible). I had this stressed energy I needed to get out. And some words popped into my head as well.

Restless.
Leave the house.
Turn on the music
to drown my thoughts.
Little triggers I encounter
every so often
that start an onslaught of emotion.
I need to get out of here.
So restless
Can't focus
Can't think.
This is new to me...
I don't want to be here right now.
Feels as if my soul
is going to burst out of my body
and fly straight away towards the heavens.
I need to rid myself of this energy.
The headphones go in.
The door shuts.
There I go.

As I was walking, I saw a cool thing. The leaves left rainy shadows on the pavement. Like footprints.

Tomorrow will be homework as well. But whatever. I'll probably go for a walk again, and everything will be okay. Because it is all good. My perspective's just a little off because I'm tired and stressed.

Buscalia and vulnerability

So I’ve been wanting to post about Buscalia, and now that I finally get a chance its getting late and AHHHHH!
Yesterday and today I’ve been teased about a certain someone by Sofia. She likes public humiliation. Thankfully, it doesn’t embarrass me too bad; I just laugh- ‘cause it’s funny. (If you hear a sentence with “love notes” and my name, don’t believe it- it isn’t true. *grins*)

I sat at dinner and endured (barely) a HUGE one hour lecture by my father about helping my mom, doing my job, not being part of the “cool” crowd, and other things I can’t remember. I do remember, however, that I was accused of spending too much time “primping” and that I was turning into a “preppie” and that all I cared about was getting on the internet. Wonderful. Thank you, father. *blows raspberry* Whatever.

Okay, okay, about my sign from God. Here I am, trying to convince myself that the best thing for me is to be loving to everyone else, but to build these huge walls and not really let anyone in and thus not get hurt in any way at all. I was seriously thinking about it- I thought it’d be better for me. And so we’re going to watch this video of the crazy Italian guy (YAY!) and the FIRST WORD I HEAR IS: vulnerability. I was like, “Oh man. What now? Am I about to get hit in the head with a 2X4?”
Answer: YES. Smack!!! So Buscalia starts discussing the need for vulnerability, and how it’s necessary in any relationship. I totally got SCHOOLED in everything I was trying to tell myself. Emphasis on totally got schooled. Wow. And he said how hugs are healthy and it made me want to love everyone and hug everyone. Unfortunately, PDAs partly prevent this from occurring. (Sorry, guys).
(I was going to write more about this, but I can’t remember. The fire has faded. Darn it!)
Hutch High tomorrow. I am so incredibly excited! I get to hang out with my pals Sofia, Laura, and JAMES! Hurray!
My house is 74 degrees right now. I’m burning up man!
Okay, I’m an excited ball of nerves right now. And I’m tired too. Ah, I have to finish packing. And…load more songs onto my iPod.

I'm doing what I can...

I wish I had time and energy to do this. But I don't. Its almost 11pm.
Reminders to post about:

• Buscalia and the messages God sent through him (WOAH!)
• I can't remember
• I don't know

Alright. Nighty Night then.

I'm impressed by the intelligence of my friends. Amazingly impressed, I might add.

Today, I did homework and school, thus my brain is fried. Dead. Sleeping. Not working. Spent forever and ever on homework. Blargggghhhhh. And this movie my mom has on with Jackie Chan "Police"...is terrible and weird and gross. Don't watch it.

It's definitely bed time. I'd like to remotely be able to function tomorrow.

You can read it now. I edited it. :)

I am online at 8:52pm. A record if there ever was one. I think I deserve 50 million hugs if I get to bed before 10pm. I'll let you guys know. Haha.

So...a quick topic to touch on, though this really has nothing to do with you guys. I was sitting near this kid on the bus who said the "f" word every other word. Not kidding. It truly was horrible. I did everything in my power not to openly cringe. Some guys think its macho and manly to cuss. In my opinion, it's a major turn off. I mean geez. He was barely saying anything, and what he did say sounded disgusting to my poor ears because of the constant use of the "f" word. And saying Jesus Christ's name in vain- holy moly, that kills me. (Yes, I just said holy moly. So sue me).

Anyway, moving on. My 'rents got over their little (ha) spat so now it's all good in the hood, yo. Had a discussion (another ha) with my brother and my dad about basketball. We begged again, with my mom helping out best she could, to let us not do basketball and go running together (with our iPods! Woah!) every day. But no. He says he knows what's best, and that we'll look back and know he was right. Riiiight.

Today was a weird mental off day for me. I felt mentally exhausted. I came home, waited in the rain for half an hour (locked out. Older sister came to open the door for me), did my homework, fell asleep curled up on the couch, ate dinner, got online. So much for my "run." Today was also a weird day for Sofia. She was being hyper and her and James went at it with "The Textbook War." Amusing, very confusing. Haha.

Darnnnnit. I can't think of anything else to say. *Pauses, staring at keyboard*
Tomorrow's finally Friday. Thank you, God. I made it through. It feels like my birthday was awhile ago, though it was just Monday.
Hutch High next week. I'm psyched.
Antonio and I told our mom that we were going to run away from home because of basketball. I said I'd go to the Powers' house and live there. My mom's eyes got all wide- "Really???" Her look was priceless.

These words spiraling around
through channels and roads
creating thoughts and ideas
they're there- I just can't say them
You're here- you just can't listen.
I'm dying to know what you think
curious as to how you feel
This possibility of honesty
is like a light up ahead.
But you can't be sure-
you never know.
Feelings are a frightening thing
perhaps better not to let them show?
Shrug and smile-
live for today
what happens, happens
I guess its better off that way.

That was the most stupid thing I've ever written in my LIFE. :)
I'm leaving it on for your entertainment. And I rhymed?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That was one of those random just writing. I was writing it as I was typing it.
*winks, smiles a "I-did-not-just-write-that-I-totally-found-that-on-a-dumb-website" smile*

:)