Happy and Hyper (woah!)
Okay okay, guys, I'm feeling pretty happy right now. (NO.WAY.)
Firstly, my day was pretty good. Fun lab where I was able to talk like a dork (thank you, candy) and act like one (wait, not act, just be). (Thanks, Ryan, for putting up with me). Basketball wasn't horrible, though we did have to run at the end (in front of the guys!!! Gah!)
And I'm listening to the Happy Techno song, which is a mood-booster. I finished my necessary homework (I could always work on that Twelfth Night Essay, but come on...honestly. No.) and it was only 7:30pm when I finished. HOO-rah. Oh no, the techno song is over. Ahh! *mood plummets* Juuuuust joshin.
So I'll go make my brother and I a lunch, doodle or something, and then GO TO BED, as this is my last online adventure of the day (and it was a boring one, since no one updated!!!) and there's really nothing else to do.
My Christmas tree is beautiful. Absotively posilutely GORGEOUS. I think I'll sit and doodle and soak in its splendor.
Oh hey! Out of either 8 or 9 freethrows (can't remember) I only missed...*drumroll* ONE!!!
Yessssssss! Heck.yes.
Okay blah blah blah. Whatever. This post has no meaning. I hate when that happens.
Wait, let me go see if I can find a poem to stick in here...
Oh I have two poems written several months apart, but they're about the same thing and they sound the same. Dang. Oh well. I'll put both. *shrugs* Think what you will. (To reserve space, I'll do / instead of short lines)
You thought she was a beautiful girl/ happy, confident, carefree/ But now what do you think?
Now that she's cried off all her makeup/ and is sprawled across the floor/what do you think?
What do you see?/ I see pain, insecurity, fear/and most of all, vulnerability
There she lies/ a shattered hope/ a broken dream/ an idol of our culture
No one ever knew/ no one ever knew/ who she really was
She was just a model/ just a face, just a body to be used/ Did anyone look deeper?
She's not what they see- a confident blissful young lady/ They don't see that her smile is broken/
her tears have dried underneath her coverup/ They don't see her insecurities, like a wave/ creeping in, gaining strength
Until they crash down overhead/ breaking her, taking her/ Yet no one sees.
She doesn't believe what they say/ and for that, misery is the price she pays.
The girls in the magazines, on TV, at the mall/ they stare her down with scorn
She's not everything, and she knows it/ and they add to her self-inflicted grief.
What have we done to ourselves?/ Our beauty is fake/ our depression is rampant/ we've turned ourselves into objects/
made ourselves worthless/ Don't be like them, don't be like them.
Those are....sadder than I remember. Oh, and a random one (okay three) liner I just found in my little book:
How can one build unbreakable walls to the heart?
My fortress walls are crumbling, brick by brick.
I'm slowly, steadily being exposed...
*chuckles* Have fun with those. Haha.
*runs away embarrassed*
Firstly, my day was pretty good. Fun lab where I was able to talk like a dork (thank you, candy) and act like one (wait, not act, just be). (Thanks, Ryan, for putting up with me). Basketball wasn't horrible, though we did have to run at the end (in front of the guys!!! Gah!)
And I'm listening to the Happy Techno song, which is a mood-booster. I finished my necessary homework (I could always work on that Twelfth Night Essay, but come on...honestly. No.) and it was only 7:30pm when I finished. HOO-rah. Oh no, the techno song is over. Ahh! *mood plummets* Juuuuust joshin.
So I'll go make my brother and I a lunch, doodle or something, and then GO TO BED, as this is my last online adventure of the day (and it was a boring one, since no one updated!!!) and there's really nothing else to do.
My Christmas tree is beautiful. Absotively posilutely GORGEOUS. I think I'll sit and doodle and soak in its splendor.
Oh hey! Out of either 8 or 9 freethrows (can't remember) I only missed...*drumroll* ONE!!!
Yessssssss! Heck.yes.
Okay blah blah blah. Whatever. This post has no meaning. I hate when that happens.
Wait, let me go see if I can find a poem to stick in here...
Oh I have two poems written several months apart, but they're about the same thing and they sound the same. Dang. Oh well. I'll put both. *shrugs* Think what you will. (To reserve space, I'll do / instead of short lines)
You thought she was a beautiful girl/ happy, confident, carefree/ But now what do you think?
Now that she's cried off all her makeup/ and is sprawled across the floor/what do you think?
What do you see?/ I see pain, insecurity, fear/and most of all, vulnerability
There she lies/ a shattered hope/ a broken dream/ an idol of our culture
No one ever knew/ no one ever knew/ who she really was
She was just a model/ just a face, just a body to be used/ Did anyone look deeper?
She's not what they see- a confident blissful young lady/ They don't see that her smile is broken/
her tears have dried underneath her coverup/ They don't see her insecurities, like a wave/ creeping in, gaining strength
Until they crash down overhead/ breaking her, taking her/ Yet no one sees.
She doesn't believe what they say/ and for that, misery is the price she pays.
The girls in the magazines, on TV, at the mall/ they stare her down with scorn
She's not everything, and she knows it/ and they add to her self-inflicted grief.
What have we done to ourselves?/ Our beauty is fake/ our depression is rampant/ we've turned ourselves into objects/
made ourselves worthless/ Don't be like them, don't be like them.
Those are....sadder than I remember. Oh, and a random one (okay three) liner I just found in my little book:
How can one build unbreakable walls to the heart?
My fortress walls are crumbling, brick by brick.
I'm slowly, steadily being exposed...
*chuckles* Have fun with those. Haha.
*runs away embarrassed*
posted by Victoria | 7:57 PM
4 Comments:
That was most excellent!!!
NO!!! COME BACK!!!!!
Not all of your posts are "emo, how your day went posts" the fact that you put poetry in is pretty awesome.
I have a friend who's livejournal consists of posts like "can't fall asleep. I'm depressed. Went to the cafeteria today and my friends ignored me, :( Mommy's coming to visit next week. Yay!"
So compared to her or to anyone,you are suberbly articulate and emotionally mature. Seriously.
As for German, I don't know if it sounds really rough and tough, though that is indeed the stereotype. As beginners, our accents are bad enough that it almost sounds funny. However, you do feel like you're hocking up a lugie or howling at the moon sometimes. Its got a lot of odd sounds.
Yes, you're happy!!! I was realy happy before, and now I feel even better.
And I love Christmas trees too. Something about the light makes me want to sit in front of mine for hours.
I haven't updated, partly because you haven't even commented on the last two.
And about your poem, once again that was really good! It sounds like "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence. Maybe I'm in too good of a mood to really discuss at length the slightly depressing subject matter of the poems, or it's that I really haven't found myself obsessing over my insecurities too often. It's just a slight thing in my life, not even worth mentioning in a poem for me, personally.
I like the part about crying off the makeup...
In fact, I'll go so far as to say that that line is the "lyrical center" (hah...I love how I sound like I know what I'm talking about) of those poems; now that "she" has suffered something horrible, her true piteousness is there for all to see. And perhaps learn from. Hence the "lyrical center" thing: that line contains the essence of what those poems are about, in my very conceited opinion.
Coolio stuffo. Times 2-o.
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