Early AM Post
Despite/disregarding the fact that it is approximately 12:08am, I am going to do a quick, random post.
Still housesitting. Just watched "The Notebook" with my little sister. Ever have that strange feeling after watching or reading something where it's this...I don't know...this weird hazy, existential feeling? Like right now, I feel kind of out of it, like I'm viewing everything from the outside, and nothing can touch me or worry me. It's very odd. Was it the movie? I don't know.
Note: Funny how crying can be such a release. No, I did not cry because of personal issues...the movie made me do it! But it felt nice to just cry, you know? A bittersweet release...I guess it's just another way to let out your emotions (: through your eyeballs. Interesting...).
Oh. I just suddenly thought of something else to write that just popped into my head. It's interesting (need a new adjective) how nice it is to be able to trust and depend on something or someone. And it's difficult when you lose that something/someone. But the comfort- that's what everyone wants- they want to be able to know for certain that someone will always be there for them, or will write them back or call them or listen to them... whatever. People want security. One consquence is that this need leads young girls to desperately search for the wrong kind of attention or try to keep security by debasing themselves- darn. In truth, humans are more fragile than we think. Perhaps deep down all everyone wants is to be truly loved and cared for by someone they can count on.
Anyway, I'm in desperate need of sleep. Oh shoot. And my throat just started hurting. Can't!Get!Sick!
This strange post that has no structure can be fully excused by my recent sleep deprivation, the time that I'm posting, and...um...ah-HA!- the fact that this blog is indeed simply a "stream-of-consciousness.'
Still housesitting. Just watched "The Notebook" with my little sister. Ever have that strange feeling after watching or reading something where it's this...I don't know...this weird hazy, existential feeling? Like right now, I feel kind of out of it, like I'm viewing everything from the outside, and nothing can touch me or worry me. It's very odd. Was it the movie? I don't know.
Note: Funny how crying can be such a release. No, I did not cry because of personal issues...the movie made me do it! But it felt nice to just cry, you know? A bittersweet release...I guess it's just another way to let out your emotions (: through your eyeballs. Interesting...).
Oh. I just suddenly thought of something else to write that just popped into my head. It's interesting (need a new adjective) how nice it is to be able to trust and depend on something or someone. And it's difficult when you lose that something/someone. But the comfort- that's what everyone wants- they want to be able to know for certain that someone will always be there for them, or will write them back or call them or listen to them... whatever. People want security. One consquence is that this need leads young girls to desperately search for the wrong kind of attention or try to keep security by debasing themselves- darn. In truth, humans are more fragile than we think. Perhaps deep down all everyone wants is to be truly loved and cared for by someone they can count on.
Anyway, I'm in desperate need of sleep. Oh shoot. And my throat just started hurting. Can't!Get!Sick!
This strange post that has no structure can be fully excused by my recent sleep deprivation, the time that I'm posting, and...um...ah-HA!- the fact that this blog is indeed simply a "stream-of-consciousness.'
posted by Victoria | 12:07 AM
2 Comments:
I truly love and care for you, Victoria, you can always count on me. :)
I hope you're feeling okay, I was sick with a cold for the last couple of days... I couldn't sing, my throat was all sore, *cries* lol, But I'm feeling better now.
You should let me know if you ever want to do something, or just hang out.
izzy, you can't use the comment boards to be hitting on girls come on now. naw, well, I'm just ont feeling all mush nowy. or maybe i am. Like that thing i told you abou the pressure with basketball. I thought i was a whimp for it, but then i realized that like you said, humans are fragile. No matter how tough you are, eventhe big bad men who rob banks and stuff have some good in them and want to be loved. who's to say how their lives might not have changed if they had had someone there for them to show them kindness and compassion. would they be nearly as big and bad?.....
Bittersweet release, i know what you mean. liek those real toching moments in my life, when i cried out of joy and not sadness. i knid of hate thoe memories. can't explain it. It just feels wierd being so overwhlmed by emotion.
security, yah like brad said, huh. it's funny I have troubles iwth being torn between my desires for security and freedom. Commitments, to anything or anyone, it brings mesecurity. Promises and bonds that are made through commitment bring security in sort of a steady supply of loving companionship or the joy of an activity (like commitment to a sport). Like it can be your rock. But it can be so blinding and binding. You gotta tye yourself down. Keep your eyes only on what or who you committed too. But what are you missing out on.. Commitment creates the tunnel vision, and I feel like there's so much i might be missing in my peripheral vision, if i were to be devoted to one and one only. ah well
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